Hillary Clinton has tried a lot of things over the years. Becoming president. Trying to join both NASA and the Marines. Landing at an airport while under fire. But mostly lying a lot.

And that naturally led her to writing a lot of books.

Hillary Clinton is the James Patterson of the political publishing industry. Except unlike Patterson (who did cowrite a thriller with Bill Clinton) no one wants to buy what she’s selling. After losing her final election, Hillary wrote ‘What Happened’, a children’s book ‘It Takes a Village’ and ‘Grandma’s Gardens’ and then ‘State of Terror’ a thriller about the heroics of a fictional Hillary.

You can find most of them in a 99 cent store assuming you can even still find a 99 cent store.

So Hillary, who never misses a grift, decided to belatedly jump on the podcast bandwagon with “You and Me.” If Harry and Meghan could do it, why not her?

But unlike Bill, Hillary had never been able to fake interest in other people. And she’s not interesting except as a study in sociopathy. That’s a problem when you expect people to listen to you for 30 minutes or more.

Chartable shows Hillary Clinton’s podcast ranking at 2,793 in America.

She reached number 34 in the government category which is like being the speediest elephant seal, coming in just ahead of the podcasts for the Commonwealth Club of California and the National Review.

On Audible, Hillary enjoys a whole 18 ratings. That’s the Yelp history of a luncheonette open for less than a year before burning to the ground.

Except Hillary’s podcast doesn’t qualify for insurance payouts.

Despite an extra special season finale in December in which Hillary interviewed her husband, no one cared. T

hey didn’t tune in to listen to Gov. Pritzker’s thoughts on abortion, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy’s musings on loneliness, or to Hillary talking to Judy Blume about sex ed.

And so Hillary hit the book trail again.

A presidential election is the perfect time to release a campaign book. The only problem is that the last time Hillary ran for anything was 8 years ago. But that’s not about to stop Hillary.

‘Something Lost, Something Gained: Reflections on Life, Love, and Liberty’, which sounds like a third tier Republican presidential candidate’s campaign biography, is coming in September.

For those keeping track, this will be Hillary Clinton’s fourth autobiography and if Simon and Schuster doesn’t stop throwing money at her, there will be, unless an asteroid hits the earth, a fifth.

After an autobiography cashing in on her husband’s adultery (‘Living History’), another one on wrecking the Middle East (‘Hard Choices’) and still another one on losing a presidential election (‘What Happened’), what else does Hillary Clinton have to say about herself? And who cares?

Leaving behind the wreckage of multiple failed books and a podcast, “Something Lost, Something Gained” is billed as “Hillary like you haven’t seen her before.”

In other words: human. But Hillary tried rebranding as a human being at multiple phases in her career. She pretended to bake cookies in the White House and went on a listening tour before her first campaign.

But now Hillary is getting religion.

The new autobiography was preceded by ‘Do All the Good You Can: How Faith Shaped Hillary Rodham Clinton’s Politics’ late last year: a religious biography of Hillary by a Presbyterian minister who claimed that “the strong religious faith at the heart of her politics” is “confounding” to “longtime observers.”

Confounding is one way of putting it, laughable is another.

Now Hillary will once again “open up” about her religious faith in a five city pre-election tour where attendees will get to hear “never-before told stories” from a former politician who spent her entire life telling stories about herself and making up most of them along the way.

After four autobiographies and a podcast, most people wish Hillary would stop opening up about things, and instead close them up and go away.

After exhausting every possible option for cashing in, Hillary Clinton is launching a pre-election book in which she will once again attack President Trump while trying to pretend that there is more to her than politics. But is there?

What does Hillary’s faith consist of? The book press release tells us that it is a “testament to the idea that the personal is political, and the political is personal.”

Hillary’s testament is not religious: it’s political. Her human reinventions are always political because there is little more to her than politics. Actual faith transcends politics.

It does not preclude laboring for a cause, but it acknowledges, as George Washington did, that its ultimate fate is in the hands of God. Hillary Clinton cannot do that and that is why she cannot let go.

The lie is right there in the title of ‘Something Lost, Something Gained’ which implies that Hillary has gained some philosophical distance after losing her career.

Except that eight years later, she’s peddling a campaign book in the middle of a presidential election offering while offering a “warning to all American voters” about the dangers of voting for her former political opponent.

Hillary isn’t over anything. Two presidential elections later she’s still trying to run her own kind of sore loser campaign while making some money.

At 76, Hillary is not any different than she was at 69.

Her only faith is in her ego and she draws strength not “from her Methodist faith”, but from the malice and unsettled scores that had already long ago made her old long before her time.

When Bill Clinton first ran for president, a campaign memo warned that “voters need to meet the real Hillary Clinton. They have a distorted, limited, and overly political impression of her.”

Over three decades and four autobiographies (not to mention documentaries, a podcast, and a show) later, voters have met more of her than they ever wanted to and their first impression was right.

Hillary Clinton is overly political. And her only religion and personality is politics. When Hillary talks about herself, she talks about politics, and when she talks about politics, she talks about herself.

The “testament to the idea that the personal is political, and the political is personal” is as close to religion as she will ever get. Hillary is her own faith and her salvation.

And after losing her political career, she has no idea what to do except to go through the same motions.

Other failed presidential candidates have moved on to a life beyond politics, but that was never an option for her. The personal being political means that Hillary has no life beyond politics.

Eight years after her political career ended, Hillary Clinton is haunting America. And herself.

Image - Reuters